Category: Answers to Everyday Problems

This section is to share with all the readers, everyday problems that people facing and its solutions. It simply question and answer articles.

Can we know ourselves through Emptiness?

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Emptiness; we always perceived it as pain. Perhaps what we really feel is an unknown feeling to the mind. It is a void that we never explore. And often we fill the void with something or someone. After all, Emptiness is designed to motivate us to seek for something or somebody to fill the space. With Emptiness, we desire for the Wholeness.

We never actually explore Emptiness and understand it for what it Is.

What if Emptiness is an unknown that has many potentials to grasp?

What if Emptiness is not a pain but a sense of longing for Oneness?

What if Emptiness is our formless side that we never get to know?

What if Emptiness is a magnet that pulls us on the right path?

What if Emptiness is an indicator that Life is changing the course?

What happens if we embrace Emptiness like embrace Love?

Can we know ourselves through Emptiness? If Emptiness made us seek for external fulfilment, it could also make us look for inner fulfilment. Why not try to sit with the feeling and find out what it wants us to explore?

Photo note: That’s the floor marker I used during video shootings, and I stand behind the Rainbow.

Are You in an Abusive Relationship?

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Here’s what you need to know. People who are stuck in an abusive relationship are not stupid. Abusive is not just an act but also a chain of energy.

I wrote two articles about it and focused on the energetic level and explained why abusive relationships are challenging to get rid, and how to shift our awareness about it.

Link:
https://issuu.com/waveslifestyle/docs/issue_53_the_iskandarian_jan_2017_w/19
https://issuu.com/waveslifestyle/docs/the_iskandarian_feb2017web

701-are-you-in-an-abusive-relationship-part-1-2

The Light Side of Obsession.

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When we talk about obsession, we will be drawn towards one side of perspective, which is the negative ones. The feeling is like addiction towards something or inability to control the compulsive desire. That’s probably how far we label the energy of obsession.

Now I want you to step out from that perspective. Let’s see and understand Obsession at its finest seed. Let’s look at it when it is still raw. What is an obsession and how it helps us to look at the Micro Universe when our physical senses could only sense the Macro Universe?

The Other Side of Obsession

Obsession – The Magnifying Glass.

Have you ever obsess about something or someone that you could not stop paying attention to the details of the object? Obsession, by its nature is here to give us space to focus on details. When we obsess about something, we start to see details in the obsession like shapes, movements, sounds and etc. Obsession is like the magnifying glass that brings the Micro Universe to the surface. Basically it would make our life feels richer.

The Micro Universe is so subtle and often unrecognised until someone focuses on it. However, it requires a deep passion towards the object before one can focus. The raw energy of obsession is to help us focus, and expand our awareness on it.

I believe everyone has the seed of obsession that waits for the right moment. If you haven’t taste obsession, the energy moves like waves. At times, the waves are in harmony. It can be gentle and tender, and it can be intense and raging. It pushes you to the peak and then pulls you to the valley of the waves. That will give you focus on the micro and then back to the macro Universe, so to speak. It will enhance your emotions to the deepest source and then pull you back out to (so-called) reality.

How to Ride Your Obsession in the Healthy Way?

Although obsession mostly relates to negativity, if you experience the energy without labelling the good and bad and without reacting unconsciously towards it, you can ride the waves into details of creations without harming yourself and others. If you are aware that obsession is just an energy you need to focus, you could enjoy the beauty of everything without trying to taint it with addiction or attachment.

The keywords here is to be conscious when you ride the obsession. Any sort of attachment can lead to addiction towards certain emotions and anxiety. When you pulled to focus on the things that excite you and then you find it hard to get out, then that could be the sign of addiction. Any obsession that harm your Soul and/or others, is unhealthy.

The Glimpse of Obsession.

The common obsession that you can experience is when you first fall in love or when you found something that triggers the deepest love in you. This is where you start to pay attention and give in to every energy that can uplift your ability to focus. The recent collective obsession (healthy ones) is the Colouring Books for Adult, which is used to reduce stress and increase the capacity to focus. Another example of obsession is Pokemon Go. Although it is just a game, it has increased the potential for addiction rather than increase the ability to focus on the Micro Universe. This is where many of us find it hard to get out from the obsession until the energy subsides on its own.

Use the energy of Obsession to help you see the details of Life. No matter how fun or excited you get with the obsession, practice moderation. Ride the waves and then get back to the shore so you don’t lose yourself in the sea of Obsession.

Obsession in Spirituality

 

 

Two Main Reasons Why Life is Unfair

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Have you ever ask yourself, what do you really want?

The problem we have with Life is that we think Life is unfair. We want a car; Life gives us a motorbike. We want to be rich but we feel Life gives us more debts. So yeah, Life seems unfair.

Our problem is we don’t ask questions. We don’t ask questions to ourselves, a place where Life Is. A body where Life is unfolding. We don’t ask Life what we want! (or God if you like to refer Life as God).

Often when I asked people “What do you want?” – They answered, “I don’t know”.

Imagine Life is giving you I-Don’t-Know. And Life is unfair.

The Lazy Personality

I-Don’t-Know is a pretty lazy personality we embedded in our cells. Instead of taking some moment of silence to feel the question, people jump right into I-Don’t-Know because their mind cannot give them an answer. That’s how lazy we become.

The Art of Asking

Learn to ask yourself questions and give some space to receive the answers. In every question you ask, there are answers. You just have to be patience.

And second, ask in a particular manner. Be specific! Don’t ask I-Want-To-Be-Rich. It’s a general request. But Life gives it to you anyway. If today you earn an extra $10 compared to yesterday, then you are richer than yesterday.

Life is fair. It gives us what we asked. Our problem is, we don’t ask questions and we have no patience for the answers. We hardly ask questions about ourselves. We are afraid to ask questions about societies and beliefs. We don’t want to provoke our thinking mind. We fear the answers. We are not ready to receive. And Life is so unfair .

So when was the last time you ever ask yourself, “What do I  want?”

Q-What do I want

 

How to Respond to Egomaniac People?

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This is very interesting subject to express in the blog. The reason is I took weeks to go through the lessons too. Dealing with ego mind can drained the energy and cause us emotionally and mentally tired. I have been through that for weeks and then I realise this; all of us took years to just understand ‘Why we have these people in our lives?’. Although we know that everyone is a teacher and if they didn’t teach us beautiful experiences, they teach us the ugly ones. But that’s not the salvation. We didn’t stop experiencing ugly moments in life even after we knew the answer. And it keeps coming back to us, isn’t it? So answering the question is not the solution here.

Egomaniac people (the term is just for the article only) are people who unconsciously run their lives through their ego minds. They (the people) are the passenger and the driver is the ego mind. They go where the ego mind takes them, which against their free spirit. You can see there are many people still stuck in their ego minds, and that including me and you. We have been generalized into ego being. Although the consciousness is rising and there are many people are now practise to be present and allow the ego minds to lose its control, there are also people who still hasn’t aware. And these are the people who appear in our presence for many reasons and one of it is to get touch with the light of consciousness that we bring into this world.

The ultimate way to face the egomaniac people is to be present, be in the state of love. That also the easiest way but not many people understand the concept of Just It. So I’m going to share with you the practical ways to face the egomaniac people so you didn’t get caught in the dramas and hopefully in the same time shed some light into their beings with love.

Short respond.

Here’s the ugly truth. When we are dealing with war between egos, nobody wins. The energy of the war itself is use to feed the egos and we end up in emotional pain. But in moments like this (the war), we are so tempted to be heard, we are so eager to explain the ‘truth’ of ourselves but war means no explanation needed.

So the best way to deal with it is just give short respond to the person. And from my experiences, I just responded “okay” or “alright”. Then I leave before my ego mind takes the driver seat.

Avoid their games.

The ego always wanted to be feed. It creates situations so it can be feed and rises. Take a moment to observe egomaniac people; you will notice that they always find ways to create situations that can feed their egos. They complaints and give reasons that others created the situations (mostly problems) and they are the solutions. Take note how the wars in this world started. If you notice their game, avoid playing it. Walk away if you can but if that’s not the choice, just observe it without judgement. That way you wouldn’t fall into the unconscious ego game they created.

Why Play Game That You Will Lose?

Why Play Game That You Will Lose?

Breathe Consciously.

This is the gate to the ultimate way; being present. Breathe as if the only way to stay alive is to stay aware that you are breathing. No thinking by doing that. Just breathe. Go inward with the miracle healing of air and oxygen. And then in between you and the other person is a space for transformation to take place. There was a time when I did this; I noticed the breathing of the said person become aligned with mine, in same beat and harmony. Then the person no longer feel trapped in his own unconscious mind. That’s how we can help ourselves and let the transformation and the light of consciousness help the other person.

Be Transparent.

If you read the book The Power of Now, you would familiar with ‘Be Transparent’. But it takes lots of practise to be transparent. Transparent in this context is not related to honesty. It’s something like soul, transparent. It’s something like clear water where you can see what’s inside it. If you can see aura, you only see the transparent colour(s). Do notice that you can also see whatever things behind the aura, the visible things. That’s what it means by being transparent. This method, whatever is coming onto you will not hit you because there is no wall to hit. It then will go through you; just like your sight go through the aura, the soul (that’s including spirits) and water.

Most important point here is not to fall into the unconscious ego mind that you have in you. That’s the whole point of this article. It’s not about changing the egomaniac people and forces them to surrender their ego mind. That’s not our job. This practical ways is about saving ourselves so that we do not stop rising our consciousness from day to day. The rest will be taken care just the way it is.

Part 2: Three Powerful Things – Mag June and May 2013

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Now let’s go down to June 2013.
The article gives you tips on how you can unleash your true potential. It’s a small act you can give to yourself on daily basis and get your subconscious mind bring the wonders accordingly.
Link: http://issuu.com/waveslifestyle/docs/the_iskandarian_june_2013_web

Unleash Your True Potential

And May 2013 article with title, Three Powerful Things to do Before You Sleep
link: http://issuu.com/waveslifestyle/docs/the_iskandarian_may_2013_web_version

Three Powerful Things To Do Before You Sleep

Three Powerful Things To Do Before You Sleep

Part 1: Dealing With Difficult Situations – Mag Aug and July 2013

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Those who have followed my blog since last year knew that I am contributing articles on motivation, personal growth and healing to a lifestyle monthly newspaper/magazine called The Iskandarian/Waves Lifestyle. All the articles that I wrote and I am writing are to inspire reader, to educate readers on energy healing and emotional healing and to give hope to many people who feel that life is tough and uneasy.

Recently I have brought the magazine and the previous articles (re-printed) to the new readers, Filipinos who I worked together as a team. I am grateful that the sharing of experiences and knowledge are expanding to the international readers like the Filipino.

And now, I am truly happy to share it to the rest of the world. I will post two articles in one blog publishing. Enjoy the reading and please help me spread the messages if you feel the articles are inspiring and helpful to you and to the people around you. Thank you and I love you!

Latest Article – August 2013
Title: Dealing With Difficult Situations.
In this tough time, you can learn the simple way to deal with the difficult situations. All you need is daily practises!
Link: http://issuu.com/waveslifestyle/docs/the_iskandarian_aug_2012_issue_12_w

Dealing With Difficult Situations

Dealing With Difficult Situations

July 2013
Title: The Art of Solving Problems
solving problems is a need and it’s easy if you know how! Learn it in 300 words.
Link: http://issuu.com/waveslifestyle/docs/the_iskandarian_july_2013_web

The Art of Solving Problems

Five Secret Keys of Letting Go a Hurtful Relationship

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Letting go a hurtful relationship is not easy. Many people choose not to let go because of this feeling; letting go makes them weak, alone and vulnerable. It is true that no one wants to be in a dark tunnel where darkness crawls up all over their feeling. The burden of uncertainties after the break up is unbearable, especially after damages done in the relationship. No one wants to bare the energy drain from the hurtful dramas.

People choose to forget but not forgive (because forgiveness is not easy too). So the next day they hear nothing about dramas. They believe that things are patching up and getting better. They want to believe that they are healing until few days later, or few weeks later, they were caught in the same dramas again, trap in the same arguments again and heartache hold them hostage once more.

The scenario I described above are the same scenarios that majority of the population are going through in a hurtful relationship. They choose to remain in the hurtful relationship because they simply fear of letting go. It is true that letting go is never easy. However, it can be achievable if all of us know the secret keys of letting go:

Key #1: Knowing that Hurtful Relationship is a Choice.
Pain is inevitable but suffering is a choice. A hurtful relationship like abusive spouse, mentally and emotionally drama queen or king or even a cheater can cause pain to the people in the relationship. No one can avoid the pain. However, accumulation of pain leads to suffering. The fine line between pain and suffering is the choice we make to accumulate the pain or to walk away from the relationship (for relationship that has no hope to heal).

Key #2: Clarity and Courage.
Once we understand the different between pain and suffering, clarity will open the door for courage to emerge to the surface. Clarity is the power. Courage is hope. To get here, we must first make our choice.

Key #3: Self Love.
The fact is no one can love us until we love our-self unconditionally; which means we love our-self with forgiveness, accept our weaknesses and flaws, self-respect and many more. People tend to ask, doesn’t self love sounds like being an egoistic person? The answer is no. Self love is a love we give towards our-self without judgment. For example; we know that we are facing hurtful relationship. Instead of bashing and cursing our spouses, we accept that we are in the worst relationship at the present moment.

  • We know that, by cursing him/her, we are cursing our-self in return.
  • We know that; by forgiving our-self for being in the hurtful relationship, our strengths (to walk through or walk away from the hurtful relationship) are growing within us.

Key #4: Respect.
Respect cannot be demand, it can only be earned. That didn’t just apply for others but for self too. If we want to be respected in the relationship; we must first respect our-self enough by not putting our-self in the hurtful relationship repeatedly.

Key #5: Have Faith.
What could be worse than staying in hurtful relationship? To see and feel a joyful and happy life is to believe that joy and happiness exist. How can we see and feel joyful and happy life when we are facing hurtful relationship and on-going dramas in the relationship for 247? Remember this; joyful and happy life happens when we are ready to live our lives in a joyful and happy ways.

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Five Secret Letting Go Hurtful Relationship

Five Secret Letting Go Hurtful Relationship

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The Disaster Power of Jealousy

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I was sitting in the coffee place and I overheard conversations from two people who sat at the next table. The topic that they discussed was ‘Jealousy’. She expressed her jealousy over her colleague who just been promoted to the higher level. She explained that she deserve the promotion because she’s the senior. And she carried on expressing her jealousy with greatest energy that she contributed through her frustration, anger and jealousy.

Her friend was nodding her head as a sign of agreement. At one time, I almost agree the way her friend handle her frustration and jealousy but before I could say “Thank God”, her friend voiced out.

“I’m jealous too that my cousin’s marriage happier than mine!”

Woman and jealous colleagues

I believe above situation are everywhere. In these days, jealousy has become too common to express and to spread it. There are many disaster point carry by jealousy compare to the goodness. Many people believe that jealousy is a MUST in relationship. If you think the same way too, I’m sorry to say that your belief is not entirely correct.

Jealousy act like a fire. Small fire benefits us and it keeps us warm. Big fire burn houses and it could even burn the entire forest. In terms of energy, the bigger the jealousy we have in our emotions, the greater the energy become. Jealousy always ties together with other emotions like frustration and anger. If we add up all the energy, it will become disaster.

Choose Love, Not Jealousy. Why?

  • The energy of Jealousy is as equal as the energy of Curse. When you feel jealous over people or situations, your jealousy will turn into curse on yourself. This curse will harm you in many ways including physical health, discomfort of emotions and create clouds in your mind.
  • When you express jealousy, you are spreading negative energy to the surrounding. This act will attract same energy to come back to you.
  • Jealousy means lack of love. When you express jealousy, you are pressing down the love energy in you and increasing frustration and anger energy in you.
  • In attracting things you want in life including happy relationship and career success, giving jealousy over this matter will only push your dream away. This is how it works; happy relationship and career success comes in positive energy. Anything that involves love and joy is positive. When you are in negative energy and vibration, would positive energy come to you? No.

If the two women who sat at the next table realize the wonder of love energy, they would not put their jealousy on the higher ground. If you are in the situation like these two women, perhaps you could try below methods. It will help you increase your love energy and decrease jealousy energy. The transformation of the energy will soon help you see the frustrated situation from the positive point of view.

Jealousy for People Happiness

a) When someone receive a promotion in the organization and you don’t like it, instead of feeling jealous, say this:

“I am happy that she’s happy with the promotion. I am giving my love through my congratulation words so she would have the positive energy to carry the duty. I am grateful and honor to see the transformation in me*, in her and in the organization. I am love and love is bringing me the position I desire”

*your transformation is from jealousy to love

b) When someone live a happy relationship or marriage and you don’t like it. Instead of feeling jealous, say this:

“I am happy that the couple are making the world full of love and happiness. I am giving my love to them so they can walk their journey with more love. I am grateful to fill my life with love energy. I am love and love is bringing me the relationship/marriage I desire”

When you are able to put yourself in love energy, you will set yourself free from curse, hate, anger and frustration. When you are able to see things with love, you will realize that every one of us have our glory moments in life. It just happens that some people get their glory sooner than us.  Each one of us have ‘the right timing’ in life. Everyone have their journey, joy and pain. So why choose jealousy when we could speed things up with love? Why choose to be separate from their joy and positive energy when we could be part of it?

Let’s choose love. Say no to jealousy today.

Practice Forgiveness

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Forgiveness is part of loving act and yet it is the hardest thing for many people. When we are in between forgiveness and our egos, we tend to choose egos. What happen when we do not forgive?

Forgiveness is like cutting the strings that attached us to an unnecessary object. When we didn’t cut the strings, where ever we go, we have to pull the object and its weight with us. The unnecessary weights always slow us down, and soon drained out our energy. Not to mention, along the way, we will add more weights and objects behind us. The heavier it be, the unproductive we became.

Forgive is Love.

Forgive is Love

Forgiveness is not easy. It takes practice to forgive. It takes courage to cut the strings. I always suggest practice forgiveness on small matters. Practice it daily. Here some examples. Always starts with yourself, family and then people around you including your neighbours and people in the office.

With own-self:
a) Forgive the madness you can’t take.
b) Forgive for the anger you threw today.
c) Forgive for the failures you made.

The reason is simple; we human are made to express our emotions and make mistakes. So don’t be too hard on ourselves. Forgive ourselves so we could move on and start another new day tomorrow. Forgive ourselves is loving ourselves.

With Family:
a) Forgive your husband for keep forgetting the groceries you ordered.
b) Forgive your kids for the mess they made.
c) Forgive your in-laws for the nagging.

People in the family are the closest people we connected to. It is easier to growth intense connection with our families. Forgiveness will help them and we break the intense chain. Forgiveness is one of the key to a happy family.

Your neighbours and people in the office:
a) Forgive your staffs for the mistakes they made. In case of frequent delay, instead of bragging about it, find out why they delaying it.
b) Forgive your boss about his bossy attitude. Forgiveness helps you move up faster or help you out (from the organization) faster.
c) Forgive your colleagues for the gossips they spread.
d) Forgive your neighbour for the loud music they played.
e) Forgive your neighbour for taking up your parking space.

Find solutions to each problem. Forgiving didn’t mean you have to turn your back, walk away and pretend nothing has happened. That’s not forgiving, that’s self-centred. In order to forgive, we must face the situations, the emotions and the solutions.

Forgive so we could growth love to ourselves and others. Forgive so others could have chance to spread love to us. Forgive and walk light in our lives.