Staring at Death.

I am amazed by how my mind sees Life and Death co-exist in one space. The mind thinks Life and Death are separated. It’s duality, that’s how our minds see Life. Beyond the mind, within our own Spirit, we know that Death is a process within Life. Death is mutation and transformation. An end of a cycle is a beginning of a cycle. Life is the whole cycle and death is a point within the cycle.

Look at the trees. There are part of the branches broken and died but it gives space for new leaves to grow. The dead branches are the point of transformation. The aliveness of Life and its cycle is still within everything that you see in the picture.

I always wonder about my own death. What, when and how the point will be. What’s the new beginning that my end will bring to me and to the world?

By the way, I have Gate 28.6 in unconscious Mars (lessons and opportunity for growth on a personal level). Fear of Death is part of the process that helps me to live my purpose. Funny because now I begin to realize why I always stare at death 🙂

If you like my post and the photo-stories, you can Buy Me a Coffee at https://ko-fi.com/roseosman. It will be spent on educations fees and books.  Thank you for supporting me on this journey.

Thank you for reading, I hope this can shed some lights on your journey! Blessing to you all. Comment and share your thoughts with me if you like.

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What is Love?

I asked many people about Love. What is Love to them?

Is Love a pain? Is Love a desire?

What if Love is everything you experience?

What if Love is You?

The mind may not know what is Love. If you put Love in front of you, the mind will seek the polarity of Love. It will look at the opposite of Love; the unloved. The mind needs to know the duality of everything.

Hence, when you think of Love, you will also think of unlove. That is why some people think Love is complicated especially if they have a compulsive mind that constantly swings between two polarities.

Love is simple. It really is. What’s complicated is our compulsive mind that trying to understand Love.

If you want to know what Love is, go beyond your thinking. Follow your breathing, your body, your feeling, your sensation, your senses, your Soul.

Love begin within YOU.

Observe your experiences. It can tell you many things about Love.

By the way, this is Love. Scones.

If you like my post and the photo-stories, you can Buy Me a Coffee at https://ko-fi.com/roseosman. It will be spent on educations fees and books.  Thank you for supporting me on this journey.

Thank you for reading, I hope this can shed some lights on your journey! Blessing to you all. Comment and share your thoughts with me if you like.

Peace and Stillness.

These are the feelings, moments and reflections I experienced today.

Spontaneous.

Monotonous.

Quiet.

Stillness.

Gift.

Retreat.

Nap.

Blue.

Waiting.

Observing.

Worry.

Provocation.

Honour.

Gratitude.

Reflect your day is a simple exercise that you can do in a daily basis.

It could help you to see your life in the bigger picture.

The photo represents Peace and Stillness. 

It is a gift for you; whoever you are, wherever you are.

Breathe and be Conscious.

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If you like my post and the photo-stories, you can Buy Me a Coffee at https://ko-fi.com/roseosman. It will be spent on educations fees and books.  Thank you for supporting me on this journey.

Thank you for reading, I hope this can shed some lights on your journey! Blessing to you all. Comment and share your thoughts with me if you like.

The Presence of the Subtle Power.

“The Subtle Power moves all things and has no name.” This is the excerpt from the book Power vs Force.

One thing that I realised is if we pay attention to our body, and beyond the mental thinking, we could feel there is aliveness moving through us and aliveness in everything.

Everything is alive even without a name. The moment we named it, we construct and conceptualize it into an object that represents something in this Universe. Name is important to establish recognition. However, at the same times, the mind most likely attaches to the names and its story. The mind is conditioned based on what it knows, and it usually creates some form of resistance towards what IS. Without awareness to realise the attachment to names, we give ourselves limitation to experience aliveness in everything.

Everything has its aliveness and the aliveness comes from the Subtle Power. Everything you can see, hear, touch, smell, taste and feel has a Subtle Power in it.

Love is aliveness. Fear is aliveness too. Peace is aliveness. So do Anger, Grief, Anxiety and Sadness. The chair that you sit on has its aliveness. The eyes that you are staring at, has its aliveness. All animate and inanimate object is alive at some point where the mind can’t think of. You can try to feel the presence without resisting the aliveness. First, try to feel the aliveness in your body because it all begins with your body.

And this is what we are here to experience; to witness the presence of the Subtle Power; whatever It means to you.

If you like my post and the photo-stories, you can Buy Me a Coffee at https://ko-fi.com/roseosman. It will be spent on educations fees and books.  Thank you for supporting me on this journey.

Finally, I Met a Manifestor Who I Could Love.

Recently I’ve met a client who is a Manifestor. Our conversation started via WhatsApp, where she asked if she could have a session with me. I don’t know her energy type at the time but there is something repelled me away.

Now, as usual, the mind said “This client is tough. Not for you”. And as usual, my body says otherwise. I navigated the conversation in the best way I can and we decided to meet.

Less than a week later, we met at the Coffee Bean. The moment I saw her, I could feel a deep sense of Unconditional Love emerged in me and that Love knows her. It is not pity kind of love. She is having a tough journey at this moment and I’m not in a place to describe what she is going through. What I want to share is why do I feel so much Love towards this human being.

Manifestor-2.png

What is a Manifestor?

First, let’s talk about Manifestor. There are four types of energy and Aura in the human being. Each type of Aura communicates differently with each other.

Manifestor’s aura communicates its impact on everyone around them. They have a very powerful aura that could have a huge impact on the world. Often, Manifestor doesn’t know their power and they don’t know how to use it wisely. George W.Bush is a Manifestor. The moment he decided to send US Army to Iraq and started a war, the impact lasted till today. Same goes for Hitler.

Now you know why I felt repelled in the first place.

From the perspective of other types, Manifestor’s Aura is not that friendly. It is not negative or bad. They are born in that way to protect their independence and power. Manifestor Aura protects them with the quality of*** closed and repelling aura***. Then again, their aura do that when the body feels the need to protect their power. Manifestor often has no clue how their Aura works.

When Manifestor meets Projector:

In the world where we don’t know our Aura and energy, and we don’t know how it works; Projectors often have a hard time in the presence of Manifestor. For Projector, their aura has a power to penetrate others in order to guide them. On the other hand, Manifestor has a closed Aura :).

Projector: Knock, knock! Let me in!
Manifestor: Go away!

However, I don’t feel that with this woman. I do feel her closed Aura but I don’t feel dismissed or rejected. My aura doesn’t feel that. Instead, I feel so much Universal Love towards her. Then I looked at her chart.

Unconditional Love; the explanation with Human Design.

First thing I noticed was. I’m in her fractal. I’m one of the people she is destined to meet. Human Design can show you who are the right people in your environment. So I told her; we are destined to meet each other.

For me, it feels like meeting a long-lost sister!

Second; I’m all about living life with Vitality, Joyfulness and Peace. Manifestor who awaken to their true self is the ambassador of Peace in this Universe. If they are not awakened, Manifestor is the figure of anger (and anger could create war. See the connection?)

Third; if I don’t know how my Aura works and I don’t trust how my Aura communicates for me, I won’t be meeting her and people who are correct for me. Anyway, our session was filled with Peace and Love (at least I felt it that way.)

The Beauty Of Non-Verbal Communication:

In Human Design, we are taught about non-verbal communication where our Aura does the talking for us. I’ve been experimenting with the accuracy of Human Design and I noticed how my communication improves over the time. My Aura speaks on behalf of me most of the time. It even attracts great people around the world to connect with me. And when these people connected with me, I get to live my purposes. It is magical to see the changes. I was once invisible and now, I work with people all around the world. My voice changed too. The vibration has so much power in it.

All of this happened because I understand my body, my aura, my mind and my Soul. Human Design just happens to give me a logical tool and knowledge for me to explore my Inner Power.

If you want to change your Life without changing who you are; give Human Design a try.

Four-Types-The-Manifestor-To-Live-a-Life-with-Peace-Ra-Uru-Hu-Human-Design-System.pngIf you are a Manifestor, let’s find out how to be the ambassador of Peace and not Anger.
If you are a Generator or Manifesting Generator, do you want to discover how to shift your frequency from frustration to satisfaction?
If you are a Projector, this is an invitation for you to know how to be successful in Life.
If you are a Reflector, come and join us and experience the wonder of surprises Life has for you.

Check out your Human Design and get your FREE bodygraph at https://www.jovianarchive.com

By the way;

Human Design is not a belief system, non-religion or not a personality test. It is a logical tool that tells you everything about yourself from your energy, aura to your diet and what is the best place to live your purposes. Human Design also provides an awakening program that awakens the power within your genes. I’m going to coach the awakening workshop too.

If you interested, I’m happy to help you to know Your True Self in an interactive discussion.

Image is © Copyright 2018 ihdschool and Jovian Archive. All Rights Reserved.

If you like my post, you can buy me a coffee: https://ko-fi.com/roseosman. Thank you!

What’s Behind Emotional Eating?

There is Light and Darkness in everything.

Yesterday morning I told a friend that I feel the need to eat, not because I’m hungry but because I feel there is an emotional need to eat. In the simple terms, we call it Emotional Eating.

I experienced this need from time to time and yesterday’s experience was difference. I noticed that the body doesn’t really want to eat; but the emotions crave for all sort of food that I can think of. At one point, I realise that the body was feeling hungry, but it just wants to settle for a simple food. The mind, which react as a spoke-person to the emotions, thinks I need something super delicious to feed my stomach. As an Undefined Emotion person, this is how my Not-Self avoiding confrontation too.

So, I stepped back and see where this feeling is coming from. There were subtle hatred, dislikes and dissatisfaction that associates with others, that I can’t get what I want on my terms (timing mostly), that I have everything I need at that moment, but it wasn’t enough. And these related to the dissatisfaction and it is some form of inner resistance towards Life.

Between feeling all this and that, there was a void behind all these. The void leads me to understand something; I woke up to a feeling that I don’t know what to do today even though I have lists of things that I need to do. The feeling that there is no flow to keep the energy moving that is torturing to the mind and therefore, set the emotions to feel discomfort.

This is what we do. Instead of sitting with this void and find out what it is, most of the time we have urges to fill the void with something (food, sex etc).

It is ridiculous as it seems, but this is what we all do from time to time and to an extend that we become numb to our emotions.

Instead of believing that I need to go out there and find myself with super delicious food, I let my Awareness figure out where this lead me to. I simply come to these conclusions:

Acknowledge What You Are Feeling.

The dissatisfaction that I feel is real. It probably a dormant feeling that hidden deep inside of me. Since it came up to the surface, maybe it’s time to sit with these feelings and see if it wants to heal.

What the Void Really Is?

The feeling of void and ‘no-flow’ is a classic sign of an Individual Energy Stream (Human Design related). In individual energy, the energy flow moves in pulses. There are days we feel like nothing can be done and there are days, it is moving like a lighting. It is the period of ‘no-flow’ that makes Life seems stagnant and in a void.

The truth is, there is creativity and awareness are fertilising through the process. We don’t see the seed become alive until it grows out of the soil as a sprout, do we? That doesn’t mean the seed is dead. It is the same thing with an Individual energy.

I have one stream of individual and experiencing a Channel of Mutation (60-3) in my Solar Return. I’m pretty much have to learn to work according to the flow. From my experiences, I produced creativity after a period of stagnation.

Emotional Eating-Gate 55.png

The Rise of Human Spirit Consciousness.

We are in the era where the frequency of the Universe is setting us to increase our Spirit Consciousness and Emotional Awareness. The downside of this frequency is emotional eating, which reside in Gate 55 – The Gate of Spirit (Human Design). And Gate 55 is an individual energy that has fear of Emptiness. That’s the void that I feel. Emptiness over something.

If you look at the pattern around the world, this is where many people get obese or experience eating disorder too. How many people are dealing with fear of emptiness?

Now, we can’t escape the frequency because this is not some WIFI thing. This is how Universe govern itself. Being part of the Universe, we can only learn this through evolution and education.

But before we get there, we are just like bunch of babies that turn into our mothers for food and comfort.

So be wise when it comes to emotional eating. You know when you experience it. It’s okay to lose yourself and be emotionally moody about food and everything… but try to experience it with Awareness.

Human Design materials (keynotes and images) are © Copyright 2018 ihdschool and Jovian Archive. All Rights Reserved.

Why Right Timing is Important.

Rose00.jpgAfter days of Emotional moodiness and anger, I walked out from the Gate 12 (Gate of Caution) transit with clarity. (What it means is; I walked out from my moodiness and emotional swing with clarity and glitters sprinkled on me).

One of the thing that I associate with this emotional swing is the constant mental torture that tells me to go back to Penang Island for Raya. I’m glad I trust my body (not the mind) and wait for the right timing to visit my hometown… because I finally see things rearranged itself.

I’m supposed to go back on 30th for my relative’s wedding but turned out, I made a promise to do public talk on that day in Kuala Lumpur. And I can’t change the date. So, I thought let’s go back this week but unfortunately, I got sore throat, flu and fever. My mind was so mad for not being able to go back.

In Human Design, my strategy is to wait for an Invitation. I had invitations to go back actually. So, this is no longer an issue. What is the challenge then?

TIMING.

Why is timing important?

Right timing will ensure that we flow in harmony with Life. Which means, there is less resistance when we do it at the right timing. Sounds crazy yes? Well, if you live in my body, you will understand that the only way you can get what you want in life without so many obstacles and pains and frustrations and angers and bitterness or even disappointments… is timing.

Basically, timing is all about living effortlessly. Universe gets things done through YOU and through your body (through the mind and innate intelligence).

I’m no master of timing. I’m learning to surrender and with Human Design, I get to apply it better. This is some level of spirituality and yet, I’m not a spiritual master or what so ever.

How Do I Know When Is the Right Timing?

I know it through my Authority. I am a Splenic Authority. My inner truth or inner guide is my body awareness. In Human Design, we called it Splenic Authority. Everyone has one unique Authority and yours is different than mine. You can check it out through this website.

My Splenic Authority works spontaneously in the Now and it all concern about my safety, health and survival. Remember that I want to go back to Penang Island and I have the invitation and I have someone who wanted to pay for the hotel and yet I decided not to go back. That’s because, as much as my mind wants to go back, my body awareness felt that it is not safe for me to travel because the body needs a lot of rest after being sick for few days.

Despite emotional waves overrides my Splenic intuition, I still feel a deep sense that I need to wait. This is not just about the health of my body but it’s about timing too.

What Now?

I’m seeing a clear green light to be in Penang on 30th June onwards unless something comes up and turn the journey the other way around. As a Splenic Authority, moment to moment is always about health and surviving. And with my Undefined Heart and Undefined Throat, I have no way to tell when things going to happen for me.

Surrender to Life.

Living effortlessly means enjoy the ride in this Life without trying to take control over it. Our body knows how to do this. Our mind doesn’t. The more the mind tries to control the body, the more the pain occurs in the body. Maybe body intelligence or innate intelligence is something people don’t believe in. But if we speak to our body and know our body well, we will see the truth within this beautiful vehicle we called the body. Human Design is a system that shows you what your body capable of doing and how to align your mind with your body.

So, let’s see how things unfold. From my experiences, especially when I’m practising to surrender and follow my Human Design, my life is exciting, colourful and sometimes… feels so surreal 🙂

Rose01.jpgAnyway, this is one good quote I picked up from the book I read; Women, Food and God by Geneen Roth. It reminds me that only through waiting, we are able to see the whole picture of the event which consists of This, That and the Absolute Truth. Enjoy!

Enlightenment was following one thing all the way to the end.
~~ Shunryu Suzuki Roshi

Flying Taught Me One Thing.

My first flight experience was ten years ago from Kuala Lumpur to Kuching; alone! I was a frequent traveller who took a bus from Penang to Kuala Lumpur or to the south. Not to mention that sometimes I experienced anxiety during travelling. So, imagine what it might do to me when I found out that I have to take a flight alone to Kuching. Out of excitement and invitation, I gained some courage and I decided to give it a try.

I sat by the window and the passenger who sat next to me was a guy. A friend mentally prepared me before the flight. She asked me to chew something, so I don’t get discomfort by the pressure. When she got to the part where “there is a bag if you need to vomit”, boy that triggered the anxiety. Anyway, I did whatever she told me. I thought I will be anxious or worse screaming when the flight takes off or when I had to vomit. Guess what happen?

I clapped my hands with full of excitement and said “Yayyyy!” just like a five years old kid. The guy next to me was surprised by my sudden excitement. I told him “My first time”.

The moment I reached Kuching’s airport, I called my friend.
“I’m not going to travel by bus anymore!” One word at the time.

I love flying, even I do feel a little anxious about it. The feeling is probably collective. Anyway, whenever I fly, I get to see a different perspective on Life.

Human nowadays have the capacity to view life, not just horizontal and from vertical view. Thanks to the Wright brothers for the invention of the aeroplane and people who built the rocket to space. The further and higher we get, the more information field we explore in terms of self-reflecting consciousness.

Try this. When you are in the sky flying, look down at the Earth. This is how nature, the clouds, the birds, the rains, the thunders, the Universe is looking at us. See the Life and feels it. You gonna enjoy the perspectives.

Sometimes It’s Good to Make Mistakes.

I have Projectors asking me about bitterness and success. The common question is how do they know if they will get the invitation? What happens if they initiate or manipulate the invitation? For example; what happens if they give advice to people before they are invited to do so?

To that I say, go ahead and experiment with that initiation. Give advice anyway but do it with awareness so you can feel the taste of the energy in your body. The body don’t lie. If the initiation is not recognised or invited in any level, your body will tell you that the energy is not appreciated, and it is wasted. The body feels the bitterness and you will feel the bitterness too. With awareness, you may acknowledge the bitterness, and hopefully, you will have vivid experience about what is right and what is not. From there, you get to learn why the invitation is important for you as a Projector.

If you taste the bitterness, surely you gonna love the taste of Success (the signature theme for Projector). Surely, you are not going to compromise your potential to be recognised and to be successful. All this takes practice to trust your Authority and Strategy.

Remember that Human Design is about experimenting our Self, our design. Only you can experience YOU. Only you have the Awareness to know YOU. So, go ahead, make mistakes but do it with awareness. It’s all about the awareness of being YOU.

LOVE;
Not the 3rd Line. Just a Hermit who loves her company.

Grief – Who We Actually Miss?

Last night we talked about Grief. There were noises in the background, but it subsided to almost silent during the conversation. We pondered about grief; why the feeling is heavy and why sometimes we grief over someone who is not even in our inner circle.At that moment, I realised we have the same grief. I lost a friend in December 2016 and I grief till today. The grief is small and sometimes subtle. I know it’s a grief because I would stare deep into my inner space and try to fill the emptiness. Most of the time, the mind is occupied by self-guilt, but space remain empty.I love taking photos of empty chairs. It gives me the sense of space; the same space I’m staring into. Imagine those people who sat on these chairs during the day and they left during the night. If this is how death looks like, what are we missing here?During the conversation, this came out right from my lips. “What we miss is their presence (physical) and now it just an empty space”. We don’t connect much with Souls. We are a physical creature. Physical presence, the body itself make so much difference in this world. That’s what we missed. The rest come and go together with the body including the expression of love, the voice, the touch, everything about the body.That’s the most torturing feeling about grief’; longing for the body to be around. However, if we take grief with a touch of Spirituality, we would understand that Space is never Empty. The presence is always there. The essence of the energy body is right there. It’s just they appeared in a different form.Whenever I see empty chairs, I feel a deep sense of Peace and I would capture the moments through the lens. It’s okay to grieve. I no longer shed tears over her passing. I don’t think I even have tears to grieve. All I do is accepting the space I feel whenever I think of her.

That space is Love. I wish her Peace, wherever she is now.

If you like my post and the photo-stories, you can Buy Me a Coffee by clicking the button above. It will be spent on educations fees and books.  Thank you for supporting me on this journey.