Are You Ready to Forgive?

Forgiveness Means:

1. A state of Awareness that between pain and freedom You choose Freedom.

2. Let Go the attachment you have with the pain.

3. Space you willing to give yourself so the body, mind, and Soul can heal from the pain.

4. A willingness to Love your Self again.

5. Respect you ready to give to your body and your entire existence.

6. A transformation from self-judgement into Acceptance.

7. Shifting your energy from ‘I’m the victim.’ to ‘I Am Claiming My Power.’ Forgive yourself first, and the Love you have will naturally forgive every pain in the world.

Note: An article headline on Waves Lifestyle front page (The Iskandarian newspaper) – issue April 2015

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This Is My Story of LOVE

This is about Love and me and how I view Love differently now.

I was a different person seven years ago, and far way different 10 to 15 years ago. But the essence of who I Am is the same. Deep inside I could feel the same Me. That makes me realised that I Am the same Love. The only different now is I let Love express with freedom.

I used to be afraid to say ‘I Love You’ because I thought ‘I Love You’ means a commitment between two people. I hardly say it to my late dad. I felt awkward. Few hours before he passed away, he stared at me. That look was different, and it came from deep inside of him. I stared at him, but I didn’t even say ‘I Love You‘. It was Love looking at Love, but I never learn to say it.

That Awkwardness Shouldn’t Happen to My Mother.

I didn’t do it consciously. I just felt the need to express love to her without fear being judged (mostly by myself…didn’t we all judge ourselves?). So I said a lot of Love to my late mom years before she passed away. Nights after nights of “Good night Mom, I Love You”, that Love changed her and me. Few days before she passed away, we spoke only Love. She said, “I Miss You”. That was her last words and that was good enough to keep me going knowing she is loved.

And that was a long time ago. And I never stop learning to Love even though I had to go through moments of Tough Love. I guess I’m lucky because Universe sent me people who have already tasted the higher Love to assist me in discovering the essence of Love I had within me.

It took seven years to be our New Self entirely, so they said.

And as I live LBe The Love And Peaceove, I realised that Love can be so different, and it comes in so many forms. First I felt is about me and my feeling. Then Love goes deeper into my cells. It brought up all kind of pain so I could Love my body, my being and my Soul. Then Love appeared in the sounds of birds, in the movement of winds, in the colours of plants, in the silence of the night. Now I feel it in every breath. And it is still unfolding to me with wonders and beauty.

And whatever that I’m describing Love through my experiences can only be so limited because I had put words on it. So please don’t take everything I wrote here as ‘that’s all about Love‘. Love is more than the words I shared with you. Nevertheless, I hope the sharing could expand a little bit of our awareness towards Love.

Love Is…

Unconditional.

It feels higher. It is more fluid, gentle and peace. I remember looking into someone’s eyes and I felt suspended between knowing and unknowing. That’s Love recognising Love. It is for Self, everyone and everything. I now could easily say I Love You to anyone who needs it. I love saying it to animals, to plants…to the Moon, the Stars, the Sun…to anything. I said it to the pain I felt. Commitment doesn’t bother me anymore because this Love has no sensation of lust, ownership, guilt or shame.

Just so you know, Love heals! It healed me. It can heal you. But first, you have to allow yourself to be Loved; by YOU, by the Universe, by anyone and anything without judgement. Let go that old belief about I Love You. Accept it unconditionally. And never give up on Love.

Then learn to Love yourself. Learn to be YOU. Love is Your Self. Be that Love and spread it to the world.

Good night Beautiful Souls. It’s 11.50pm in the other side of the world.
I Love You, whoever you are, wherever you are!

 

love-eckhart-tolle

Why Forgiveness Fail Big Time?

It has been more than a year I have choose silence over words to blog. In that period, I dived into left-brain world of business, bringing my spirituality quest to experience the real bites of left-brain business. In nearly 20 months, I allowed myself (unconsciously and consciously) to feel the pain; mentally, emotionally and physically.

When we talked about spirituality, we have to put our ego on the table. Everything that I experienced, the likes and dislikes, the happiness and unhappiness; and all its interpretations, can be somewhat related to the ego-self. And that’s the hardest part because facing our ego-self means, all the blames on others must be witnessed instead of judged, accepted instead of condemned and complained.

I must say, failure is inevitable, but success is rewarding especially to our self-evolution.

After I have experienced what left-brain business can do and cannot do, I seek my way back to the journey I desire long time ago. The only different is, this time I know why I’m here and what I need to do for others.

However deeply and excited I am about expanding the business and life entirely, I’m aware that, the stone I’m about to cast into a calm water must come from the state of Love. Intention is very powerful. The effects will reflect the intentions all the way to the end (if the end exist). Forgiveness and You Based on this fact, I decided to start a detachment process in details. The very first things I should do is experience forgiveness. I planned the entire February for this process because I’m leaving the company I worked for 20 months in February. My goal was; all the pain I felt for the past 20 months and the old pains including fears, hatreds, jealousy, resentments, must be transcended as much as I can.

I just want to leave the place feeling peace about everything.

Therefore, I intentionally wrote about Forgiveness in the Iskandarian e-paper for March and April 2015 publication.

All I can sum up about forgiveness is as below:

Forgiveness is about facing our own ego. What truly hurt is the ego.

Our body (the emotion and the physical body) release the pain based on what the mind says (the ego-self). Along this process, we forget the deeper side of who we are, the Soul, is in fact part of the process too.

Where’s the Soul stand in this process?

The energy of forgiveness never comes from our lips and tongue. If we say “I forgive you”, chances we just being nice and pretending are high. The source of forgiveness come from Love, and the place that contains this Love is our Soul. And we constantly forget our Souls, and remain in the state of ego, the place that use pain to live. That could explain why we keep feeling hurts even after we say “I forgive you”.

I truly adore people who refrain themselves from giving others forgiveness because they mean honesty. But that bring us into another state of pain; resistance from allowing forgiveness to flow. Either way, pain is the result.

What I’m sharing with you is about giving back the power to the soul (the real YOU) and let Our True Self, do the forgiveness from the within. The energy of forgiving will emanate healing through us, flow to our mind and body. The forgiveness will not just forgive but heal all sort of pains, mentally, emotionally and physically. And it free us from unnecessary accumulation of pain. This is ‘I forgive You’ that means business.

Let’s stop giving the false power of forgiveness to the ego-mind because it can only forgive with sense of ego and that cannot even free us from the pain, even if it tries.

Thank you and I Am Grateful to be back!

Read the Iskandarian e-paper here. Are You Ready to Forgive-Pt1

Things You Should Do Before December Ends – Magazine Article

Hello everyone. This is a quick introduction for my December article in the Waves Lifestyle/The Iskandarian news-magazine. I just want you to know that I’ve been doing these activities for the past two years and I enjoy every moments of it. These activities give me sense of light and avoid me from carrying excess baggages and burden to the next year. It also helps me reduce the probability to live the same pattern of life. I hope these activities can help you in the same way or even better.

You can read the full article here (page 19)

Things You Should Do Before December Ends

Things You Should Do Before December Ends

Five Secret Keys of Letting Go a Hurtful Relationship

Letting go a hurtful relationship is not easy. Many people choose not to let go because of this feeling; letting go makes them weak, alone and vulnerable. It is true that no one wants to be in a dark tunnel where darkness crawls up all over their feeling. The burden of uncertainties after the break up is unbearable, especially after damages done in the relationship. No one wants to bare the energy drain from the hurtful dramas.

People choose to forget but not forgive (because forgiveness is not easy too). So the next day they hear nothing about dramas. They believe that things are patching up and getting better. They want to believe that they are healing until few days later, or few weeks later, they were caught in the same dramas again, trap in the same arguments again and heartache hold them hostage once more.

The scenario I described above are the same scenarios that majority of the population are going through in a hurtful relationship. They choose to remain in the hurtful relationship because they simply fear of letting go. It is true that letting go is never easy. However, it can be achievable if all of us know the secret keys of letting go:

Key #1: Knowing that Hurtful Relationship is a Choice.
Pain is inevitable but suffering is a choice. A hurtful relationship like abusive spouse, mentally and emotionally drama queen or king or even a cheater can cause pain to the people in the relationship. No one can avoid the pain. However, accumulation of pain leads to suffering. The fine line between pain and suffering is the choice we make to accumulate the pain or to walk away from the relationship (for relationship that has no hope to heal).

Key #2: Clarity and Courage.
Once we understand the different between pain and suffering, clarity will open the door for courage to emerge to the surface. Clarity is the power. Courage is hope. To get here, we must first make our choice.

Key #3: Self Love.
The fact is no one can love us until we love our-self unconditionally; which means we love our-self with forgiveness, accept our weaknesses and flaws, self-respect and many more. People tend to ask, doesn’t self love sounds like being an egoistic person? The answer is no. Self love is a love we give towards our-self without judgment. For example; we know that we are facing hurtful relationship. Instead of bashing and cursing our spouses, we accept that we are in the worst relationship at the present moment.

  • We know that, by cursing him/her, we are cursing our-self in return.
  • We know that; by forgiving our-self for being in the hurtful relationship, our strengths (to walk through or walk away from the hurtful relationship) are growing within us.

Key #4: Respect.
Respect cannot be demand, it can only be earned. That didn’t just apply for others but for self too. If we want to be respected in the relationship; we must first respect our-self enough by not putting our-self in the hurtful relationship repeatedly.

Key #5: Have Faith.
What could be worse than staying in hurtful relationship? To see and feel a joyful and happy life is to believe that joy and happiness exist. How can we see and feel joyful and happy life when we are facing hurtful relationship and on-going dramas in the relationship for 247? Remember this; joyful and happy life happens when we are ready to live our lives in a joyful and happy ways.

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Five Secret Letting Go Hurtful Relationship

Five Secret Letting Go Hurtful Relationship

Talk to someone about your problem. Get help today. You can reach me via email. Consultation is now based on donation basis.

How to Heal Your Past?

We all have our pasts; the happy ones, the hurtful ones, the joyful or the terror ones. We all been there and experienced it. Sometimes we remember our pasts to the details especially the hurtful ones. How can we not? Why should we forget about our pasts since it was part of the reason of who we are? Even if we could forget who we were in the past, can we forget the memory? We are all human; there is no delete button in our heads. So why are talking about forgetting our past?

My fellow readers, I must say this; Keep the Past. Do not throw it away. Do not deny it. Do not run away from it. Do not go crazy with it too. You must understand that the past, present and future cannot be separated. However, it can be healed.

1. Make Peace with It.

When your past is haunting you right to the present moment, make peace with it. It means making peace with you entirely. It will help you stop sabotage your present moments; the joy that you entitled to achieve.

What happen if you didn’t make peace with it? It makes you think you are living your past. It makes you want to believe that it have created you (therefore you must live with it). By thinking you are living on it, you have added more energy to it. It makes it harder for you to forget it.

Although the past cannot be separate with you, the truth is you are not living it. It only lives the memory Inside Your Mind. So make peace with it. And how can you do that? Read the next one.

2. Acceptance.

Accept whatever that happened to you in the past. Accept the pain and the situation all-together. Accept the shame, the guilt and the resentment. Only by acceptance, you acknowledge that the past is another subject of energy; a totally different from your being. This subject of energy that attached to you is the energy from the memory. By accepting it, you have detached yourself from the energy of the past. You are now looking at it from the eyes of the present YOU instead of the eyes of your past.

Tips: Write a letter to your past. Mention what you are feeling right now about your past. Say what you must with kindness and love. Write it from the heart of a Love being and not from the mind that pass judgement or emotions that get carried away.

3. Forgive Yourself.

Whether things that happened in your past was your mistake or somebody else, give forgiveness to yourself first and then others. Forgiveness is healing. After you have detached yourself from the energy, you should fill the void with love. By filling it with forgiveness, you have already given love to yourself.

Tips: Say I Love You as much as you can. Write and say a simple affirmation such as “I am filling myself with Love and allow forgiveness to heal my past. And so it is. Thank You”

You may ask; what’s the difference it makes, the memory is still there?

The memory doesn’t go away. That’s the fact. What goes away is the energy that attached to the memory. By these processes, the energy gets transmuted. Once it transmuted, whenever you recall the memory or it came back to you in surprise, you will look at it as a witness rather than as a victim. You will face it with love rather than judgement. You can smile at it and not going crazy thinking you are your past. The past no longer sabotage your present moments.

In the other words it gives you Healing.

Make Peace With Past

Light: Between Us and Sunlight

Do you know that Sunlight takes around 8 minutes 20 seconds to reach the Earth?
The truth is even the biggest source of lights take that long to spread its light to the planet, therefore our lights that reach peoples’ hearts might take longer than that. Be patience in spreading your love and lights to others.

Spreading light

Turning Hopelessness Into Hope

Turning Hopelessness Into Hope

by Cha~zay, Ph.d., C.H.

I just heard the most awful sound of something crashing into the scaffolding right outside of my window. Whatever it was crashed right into the concrete below,” she said with a trembling voice. “What was it?” I asked in anticipation. “I walked outside to look and there laid the smashed body of a woman with her head splattered all over the concrete.”

Many don’t want to talk about suicide for various fears and misconceptions that talking about this darkest of dark deeds remains misunderstood and avoided at all costs. Many also falsely believe that talking about it will actually instigate and encourage it.

Nothing could be farther from the truth. By taking the ostrich approach and sticking your head in the sand pretending that hopelessness doesn’t exist you are not only avoiding the issue but you are actually aiding in making the problem worse.

As a trained grief and suicide hotline counselor let me assure you that being able to provide a safe space for others to talk about their darkest fears and heaviest pressures is the very thing that will actually prevent them from giving in to their hopelessness. Yes, you can be that important to those around you, whether a stranger or a friend.

However, I am not writing this article to write about suicide but to give you a flicker of hope and encourage you to be that same flicker of inspiration and hope to those around you. It’s easier and simpler than you think.

What You Can Do

One of the best ways to help the hopeless is to stop pretending that you are not affected. Take your head out of the clouds and come back to Earth and reality and realize that we are all responsible for each other.

Here are some additional ways you can turn into a flame of hope for those around you:

Acknowledgement and Ignorance: Everyone goes through life and at one point or another becomes hopeless to varying degrees. Especially now that the energies of the world are incredibly intense, thoughts of giving up and utter hopelessness are rampant. Ignoring this for yourself and those who try to reach out to you will not make the pressure go away. Talk about it and make yourself available to others who need to talk about it. When you know someone is in this space, acknowledge the dark space they’re in and do your best to hold a safe space for them.

Judgment and Forgiveness: If you find yourself judging even this article or the woman who jumped off the 18th floor from this San Francisco apartment complex last night, then know that the energy of your judgment is exactly a part of this problem we are facing together. Judgment is what gets people to a place of hopelessness, whether it is self judgment or judgment from others. People long to know that they are enough just the way they are, that they are not judged for living, loving, choosing the things they choose and for screwing up royally from time to time. We can’t even control the hair on our very head, at least I can’t, so how then do we expect to control another human being? What futility and waste of energy. So give it up already. Instead exercise forgiveness, compassion and empathy for yourself and those around you.

Love and Kindness: People are very confused these days about what love is and isn’t. Let me make this simple. Kindness is love in action. You can be a walking love machine, literally, by exercising constant kindness to not only yourself but also those around you. This includes animals, bugs and insects, plants and our planet. Kindness can be as simple as a sincere smile, as opposed to a forced, fake one. And as simple as a gentle look that says: “I see you. You matter. I care.”

Plant Seeds of Blessings: Look into someone’s eyes for 3-5 seconds as you pass them by while saying “I bless you.” It works miracles, literally! Don’t shove the responsibility of blessing another human being onto God by saying “God bless you.” YOU do it! You take the responsibility of blessing those around you. Why? Because you are a manifestation and our light source flows through you as much as it flows through everyone else. So don’t hand the responsibility over to anyone else, there is no one else besides you anyway. Know with certainty that you have all the tools to bless another ones’ life.

As a final note, please know that 92% of all people who commit suicide do have some type of chemical imbalance and/or are taking some type of medication. If you feel suicidal please call 1-800-SUICIDE or work with your therapist to get the help you need. Make sure that you take care of your brain by giving it the Omega 3s and other nutrition that it needs to operate at its best.

Biography: Dr. Cha~zay is a metaphysician, international life coach and certified hypnotist. She is a Reverend, certified and trained grief and suicide hotline counselor, transcendental dowser and Reiki master. She is the founder of a love forum community, http://corefreedom.com/

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Note: Thank you Dr. Cha~zay for the nicely written article and for the permission given to re-post the article in this blog.

The Reversi Game of Life

Life is always hard on us. I agree with the statement and many people do too. But why life is hard on us? If life is so beautiful, why life treats us ‘ugly’? The reason is; to teach us act the opposite acts. If you are:

  • Feeling weak; get up to prove your strengths.
  • Feeling lost; keep moving and ask for direction because new direction is unfolding before you.
  • Feeling empty; fill yourself with love. Not people. Certainly not any materials.
  • Feeling hatred; fill your own self with forgiveness.
  • Feeling lack;, fill yourself with gratitude.
  • Feeling busy; learn to manage time.
  • Emotionally mess; list it on paper. An act of listing ‘cure’ messiness.
  • Feeling sad; fill yourself with patience.
  • Feeling pain; allow healing to fill in.
  • Feeling darkness; learn to be the light.
  • Feeling tied up; learn to let-it-go.

Sometimes all we have to do is the opposite of what have been given to us. Just like the game called Reversi. When life turns into ‘black’, we have to turn it back into ‘white’ and win the game. By doing this, we are not only learning to survive but also learn the value of every act and situation we experienced. This is how to tell ourselves, our minds and our lives that we are getting better than good.

So whenever life is hard on you, please DO whatever it takes to live the life you DESIRE. You deserve it!

Reversi Game in Life

Reversi Game in Life

How Ego Looks Like?

Ego; always appear big and smug. At least that’s how we portray an ego. Last month I’ve seen ego in different dress. Ego no longer appear big and smug, instead it appear like a child that need care from the mother. Sometimes it appears like a loving soul. And yesterday I’ve learn that ego has taken its place into a new level.

Ego can dress up in anything it wants. Often, we are fool by our own ego. It makes us feel good about ourselves and not about others. It always wants us to prove that we are right to others. In healing, healers who have not realize the existence of their ego when perform healing to others, will result as an ineffective healing. Beware of ego that comes with healing will create non-beneficial attachment between healer and the other person. Besides healing (in life generally), ego always make us feel stand out. No doubt ego has its positive role in personal development. However ego that appears in many dresses can be confusing and easily lead us to the situation we do not want.

Ego is good in acting too. It can appear as care, humble, self-control, self-defense and many more. The only way to know whether we didn’t act based on ego is to check out intention. Basic question to ask ourselves is “Am I trying to prove that I am right?”, because right or wrong is subjective whether it’s in the past, now and future. The answer will undress the ego and don’t be surprised that the actual appearance of the ego could be ignorance, arrogant or even selfish.

Whatever you do in life, always remember this; ego never looks ugly. That’s the reason we always put ego in front of us, even worst represent us. Ego best place is behind us, the place that could balance the strengths and the weaknesses that we have. Never place ego in front of us because we could be easily blinded by the beauty of it dresses and acts.

Beware of The Ego

Beware of The Ego