Stranger’s Affect

Read through this and find your place as a Stranger in people lives.

I was sipping my coffee when a stranger asked, “How can I make impact to the world when I’m just a clerk?”

“What kind of impact are we talking here?” I asked and she paused. Then she shrugged.

“What is world mean to you?” I changed the question to divide her attention into two areas – The best way to change the world and who she could do it as. She took moments before she replied…

“People”

I looked around and she mirrored me. She looked puzzle by my action. I moved my index finger around and said “In that case, this is the world” and I smiled. She looked around again.

“Let say ball represent transformation of love, good thoughts and good deeds. If you cannot pass a big ball to these people in one go, pass a small one. One ball to each person here. When they get the balls from you, they will remember you as a person who passes them a ball. They will remember you because it’s personal. That, in many ways is the most effective way to change the world. A person at one time” I explained.

A Clerk with Files

A Clerk with Files

“But I’m just a clerk. Would people listen to me?” She asked.

“What’s your working hour?” 

“Nine to five” She replied short.

“Do you do filing after five?” 

“No”

“So what are you after five?” I asked her. She paused again.

“When you want to do good deed, do it as YOU. Never do it as a Manager or a Politician or a Millionaire or a Clerk. When you do it in the name of the title, you earn nothing. After all, when you do it as a person who has titles, you are no longer a stranger” I told her softly.

“So being a stranger is important?” She asked.

I nodded. “Which one of these two people will make you feel uplift when they told you that you have shining hair? Your friend or a stranger?”

“A stranger”

“Why?” I asked.

Because if he mentions it, that means he really noticed my hair She said.

“Indeed! I called it Stranger’s Affect. The memorable simple transformation and uplift moments are always from strangers. Small but memorable”

Make a Different 

Talking to the Stranger

Talking to the Stranger

Everyone and anyone can make different and change the world. As long we pass the love, good thoughts, good deeds and positive transformation, we are making different and change the world.

You can change the world and start small by helping people around you to transform. Small things affect the most because it’s personal. Make them realize that they are part of the beautiful world. No one is left behind. Everyone is here because it completes the beauty in the world. Say nicest things to the strangers you meet. Greet them with your happy tone. Love them as part of the beauty world.

Be the stranger and the affects to the world are greater. Most important thing is, strangers transform the world because they just want to share their good thoughts, loves and good deeds.  Simply pure sharing and no recognition involves (which make the good thoughts, loves and good deeds circle faster)

So that’s how it goes. The best way to change the world is one person at the time. When you can’t do it as a family or a friend to everyone, do it as a stranger then.

Right before she left, she smiled and said…“…and today I found my stranger. Thank you”

If These People Choose Otherwise

“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” ~ Henry Ford

When I was driving yesterday, I have these questions in my mind and I would like you to think about it too. There are simple questions but it may give you big perspective in the answer you find. Here are the questions.

  • What do you think would happen if Susan Boyle decides to continue her sleep on freezing morning and skip her British Got Talent audition?
  • What do you think would happen if J.K Rowling decides to sleep while waiting for her delayed train?
  • What do you think would happen if Stephanie Meyer decides the dream she dream in her sleep is just a dream, so don’t bother to write about it?
  • What do you think would happen if Thomas Edison decides to stop experimenting because he fails many times?

Pursue Your Best Dream.

Susan Boyle struggled with her thoughts whether she should go for the audition or not. Her relatives advised her not too and claimed she will be booed. The weather was so cold and people in the area still under their blankets. She however, decided to go. Despite of taking wrong bus and waiting for her audition slot that took entire day, she carry on doing what she do best – Singing.

Susan Boyle

Susan Boyle knows her calling. She knows what she great at. She goes to the audition not because everybody else goes. She goes because she wants to do what she do best, singing. She knows her strength (her voice) and she overcome her weaknesses by believe in her strength. She is now a singer with 8 millions record sold.

Imagination Is Power.

J.K Rowling didn’t spend her four hours waiting for delayed train complaining or sleeping. Instead, she spends that hours playing with her imagination.

JK Rowling

“I really don’t know where the idea came from. It started with Harry, then all these characters and situations came flooding into my head.” – J.K Rowling

She imagines one character and others came along naturally. She didn’t even write it down. She gets the imagination clear in her mind. She wrote about it when she reached her apartment and she wrote it immediately.

Despite of her poverty and living on state welfare, she never underestimates her imagination and her calling to be a writer. She put that two elements into action and she is now ranked as the 12th richest woman in Great Britain with net worth estimated US 1 billion by Forbes.

Action! Action! Action!

Stephanie Meyer

Stephanie Meyer dreamed about a girl and a vampire. She felt the dream so real and it got into her emotion. She did lie down for a moment to think about the dream but this is what she did next, she put her dream in words. She keeps the dreams in motion by writing about it.

“Though I had a million things to do, I stayed in bed, thinking about the dream. Unwillingly, I eventually got up and did the immediate necessities, and then put everything that I possibly could on the back burner and sat down at the computer to write—something I hadn’t done in so long that I wondered why I was bothering.” – Stephanie Meyer

3 months later, she completed the first book – Twilight. Despite of being rejected by nine publishers, she finally got her deal signed on the same year. She is now worth $125 million and her book has sold 100 million copies worldwide.

Success Lies In Your Failures

Thomas Edison

The best person to represent failure is Thomas Edison. He failed thousands times. Some said six thousands and some said ten thousand times. No matter what was the number, he failed. Does he stop experimenting? No. Does he stop inventing electric light bulb? No. He kept going. His failure doesn’t fail him. His determination ensures every failure he made give him new way to achieve result. Does he fail forever? No because we are now enjoying his invention – The light bulb.

Here the Four key factors everyone needs in order to make their dream come true.

First you must know your passion and calling. What are you good at? What do you love? Many people pick to be somebody else instead of doing what they do best. When they choose to be somebody else, they have no love in what they are doing. That will lead to dead-end road.

Once you know your passion, give your best positive imagination on it. Imaginations are a blueprint. God doesn’t give us a brain that works a mind for no reason. Imagine what you want from your passion. Don’t give negative thoughts a chance to tell you that your imagination is a false reality. Yes Harry Potter is a creation but does Harry Potter Series give false reality to J.K Rowling? You know the answer.

Three, “Ideation without execution is nothing but illusion” – Robin Sharma. This is the part where most people choose not to pursue their dreams because it makes them move out from their so-called comfort zone. Put your ideas into action. Keep on moving. When you create a momentum, there will be results. Stephanie Meyer could just ignore the dream, after all it just a dream. But she decided otherwise. Remember this: What’s motion stays motion. Keep on making action!

Four, setbacks and failure is going to be part of your journey. If Thomas Edison chooses to stop inventing because he failed thousand times, he still goes to fail in others sector. Face the fact, failures are everywhere in our lives. The only different is, when you pursue your dream, your failure looks more obvious than those who fail without dream. So which one is better? Fails when pursuing your passions and dreams or fails because you have no dreams to live?

We are all meant to be somebody so be somebody extraordinary because extraordinary change lives. So I leave you with the questions now and imagine what if these people choose otherwise?

Should You Care?

Today’s question: Do you care what people think about you?

I’ve seen many reactions from individuals and let’s exclude businesses because in business, you have to care. If you choose not to care in business, you will lose customer. But in life and as individual, to care or otherwise will give you consequences.

I had a coffee chat with a friend of mine last week. I called her Qid and she shared something for personal standout. She told me this (something like this):

“I taught myself not to let people’s word affect my life…”

Her point was, she live her life by her own efforts. She drives where ever she thinks her life should have go. Therefore she believes there’s no point paying attention to people’s judgement about her life. What a standout principle one should have.

I’ve seen people who pay attention so much on people’s judgement. They are not just paying attention to it, they will often talk about the judgement people have spit on them. They didn’t realize, once they give their focus to it, the judgement expand. Once it expands, they get emotionally down by the judgement. Then, they will spend lots of time to stop people from judging them. So where is their life go? Everywhere but not forward.

If you always care about what people think about you, stop care about it. Stop at least 90% of it. Think about this:

Why should you care when they are not even helping you build your life positively?

And here’s a secret about people who talks about your cloths, about your body, about your career rank, about your family, about your car and almost about everything because they are being judged too. They just want you to feel equally judged. Let them say things they want to say because their words have no power over your life.

The only words you should pay attention to is those positive and constructive judgements that guide you to build better life. Put behind you those irrelevant and unnecessary judgement, comments and critics about your life. Most important thing is stop spending time on people’s judgement because the time you spend on critics and judgement is the time you lose in crafting your life.

Say this affirmation every time people try to pull you down by judging you: Their Words Have No Power over My Life. And be like Qid. I’ve seen her life, nothing but forward. You should too.

Talk To The Hand

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Note: Dear Qid, if you ever read this, thank you for your experience shared with me the other day and thank you for being one good teacher to me. 

Let It Go

This is not the best way to make decision

Have you ever make decision by pulling off the five petals flower? Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes…? Five petals options no longer challenging because the answer you get is the first answer you mention when you pull the first petal.

Before you go to the florist or pick one of your flowers in the garden, read the rest of this article. Your courage in making decision lies in you and not on the petals. Here is where you can find your courage.

It was a hot day and I’ve been resting in the room when a friend asked if I would like to join her for swimming session. I loved the idea; I went and spent nearly an hour doing pool exercise. She asked if I breathe when I swim. Seriously, I haven’t got to that level yet. I’ve learned to swim by accident. I found out I can float and I’ve learned to move from there but I never got the right way to do the breathing technique. Knowing that, she taught me to breathe and it was a good lesson. As matter of fact, it was priceless.

“In order to breath in, you must first breath out” She explained. “Many people hold their breath. They scare to let it go. They thought if they let it go, they have no more air to breathe.”

It makes sense. Naturally, we breathe out in order to breath in. Naturally, we let it go in order to get fresh air in. Naturally. But we don’t simply let it go when things turn out to be unnaturally to us. Breathing in the water is not nature to us. Hence, we keep the air that precious to us.

In life, the common difficulties we have is when unnatural things require us to make decisions. Unnatural things are things that don’t work naturally such as career, relationship, material progress and more. These things require our effort in order to progress. When we stop building it, it will stop growing. In swimming, if we keep holding on our breath, we will never swim far or in deep pool. We will never be a swimmer. So we have to learn to let go the air and breathe in.

The let-it-go concept actually applies in every aspect of our lives. In relationship, career, business and entire life journey require us to let go something in order to get something.

Take career for instance. Many people choose to stay because getting new job means have to start over again and challenge their comfort zone. They refuse to give chance for better opportunity because they want to believe what they are holding on right now is precious. Those who are willing to let it go will always get better opportunity to growth compare to those who choose to stay.

In relationship, we must learn to let go same argument, same discussions and same routines. I’ve seen couples who have same arguments for many years and it tells me one thing – the problem has never been solved. Let it go by work out the solutions. In order to build deeper love than hate in the relationship, let go the same arguments, same discussion and same routines.

In personal growth, let go of your hate, jealousy, grudge, anger and frustration. Holding to these feeling only makes your life full of these entities. You attract what your feel and your life will be created based on these feeling. Something you certainly do not want in life.

In business, learn to let go same ideas, same concepts, same mindsets and same contracts. Holding on to these things freeze your business from creativity. Your businesses can growth bigger if you allow new ideas, new concepts, new mindsets and new contracts flow in.

Do Your Judgement and Measurement.

People tell me that it is not easy to let it go. What if things don’t turn out the way we want after we let it go? What if things turn out ugly? What if we can’t find peace after let go our conflict feelings? My respond is “Judgement and measurement. Followed by positive thinking and hope”

Do your judgement and measurement before you decide to let go especially things related to materials and physical such as career.  Measurement and judgement is to build your confidence and trust in you. Once you have your judgement and measurement, you can decide to hold it or let it go. Whatever your decision is, you must train to think positive and give hope that things will turn out well. You can leave the last two steps (positive thinking and hope) if you think these is ridiculous. But remember, you are what you thought and feel. After deliver some action (judgement and measurement), you deserve to create the outcome by think positive and give positive hope.

Do not quit from your job because I say so. Quit because you get better job and better opportunity. Do not holding on to it because you think its precious or because you think others will not give you same comfort like you have now. Stay because you can develop and growth. Let it go because you can growth better somewhere else.

Do not quit your relationship because you can’t let go the same arguments. Quit because you have no more love. Stay because both of you can work out the solutions.

Let-it-go takes courage and trust in self. Let-it-go promising wonderful outcome if you never doubt yourself. Let-it-go gives us varieties of experience. Let-it-go opens up opportunities for personal growth and it gives you peace. Let-it-go can give you so much in life.

So. Let. It. Go.

And about the swimming lesson, the technique is simple but challenging. So it is advisable for you to get a coach.

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Find out how to make judgement and calculate your risk measurements from Ladyroses. Talk to her today!

What’s Your Personal Brand?

When I was standing in my garden this morning, I tried to recall few people names. The hardest part for me is to remember a person name (forgive me if I can’t remember yours). There were few times, people came to me and asked if I remember them. Sometimes I will try my best to remember; sometimes I just tell them “Forgive me. My memory is not that good“. I’m sure they’ll understand. However, I can easily remember a person traits (It’s funny to think how’s the brain actually work), especially when a person keep repeating same traits.

I have a friend who loves food so much. Every time I spend my time with her, I will get to know more about food. Of course, I remember her name but whenever I think of her, I think of food. If one day I forgot her name, I will remember she loves food. She’s a food lover. That’s her traits. Simon Cowell (Yeah! I remember his name) is a superb critics. That’s his traits. I also know a person who sleeps around with many people. When someone mentioned her name, somebody else will say “Oh the promiscuous woman!”. Promiscuous is her traits.

Personal traits lead to reputation. Both of these elements are link to each other. Both elements create a brand. Personal brand. Not many people aware of their personal brand. To them, brand means product. Think deeper; we are personal product of ours. That’s our brand. People will remember the brand. So imagine if the brand you carry right now is a bad brand!

Some people told me, “I am who I am!”. Nothing is wrong for being who you are. I respect those who stand being themselves. However, one thing I’m sure, no one wants to be remembered as a person who have bad and negative brand. If you have a negative brand, it means the surfaces you show to people around you are negative.

Take some times to evaluate your brand. Standing in front of the mirror for self reflection may not help. You only see yourself from your view. Try to see it from others people shoes. Ask people if you have too. If you do not know what to ask, you can try this question.

When I die, what will you remember most about me?”

You will find the answer in between their lines.

Have You Figured Out What's Your Personal Brand?

Who Would You Die As?

One of the things that make me feel sad is when the world lost great people. I remembered when Heath Ledger passed away on 22 January 2008, I was crying. I was not a big fan but I adored his talent. His death was a lost.

Steve Jobs

Last week on October 5, 2011, world has lost another great person – Steve Jobs. When I read the news in Twitter, I’d felt shock. My memory was flashing back to the day he resigned as a CEO of Apple. It just happened somewhere in August. Then I remembered the day he launched iPod Nano in 2005. The impression he gave when he lifted the iPod Nano from his pocket was truly jaw-drop-amazing. He was a great inventor and visionary. I’m pretty sure the news of his death saddens many people in the world. As much as death brings sadness to people around us, it only takes great momentum to bring sadness to the world. Steve built that momentum in his life.

Steve Jobs was no ordinary man. He created. He invented. He printed his ideas on people lives. He built greatness to the societies around the world. People even lined up to buy his creation. So when he died, his creations still live. His legacy and his invention live.  As long as Apple’s gadgets on the earth, people will remember him. That’s the momentum Steve has built in his life. His death is a lost and his life is a memorable.

Steve has a thought about death, the thought that contributed to his greatness.

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart…”

Stanford University commencement address, June 2005.

I knew there are some techniques that can change the way you live your life and one of it is imagine the day you die. I have never tried this technique concretely but I always have this thought inside my head – Who I Want to Die As? One of my teacher quoted me this:

“Your life is in front of you and your death is standing behind you. Your right and left sides are the angels who always be with you. Where ever your life goes, death will follow and so does the angels. So choose wisely the places your life should go”.

Admit it that the best life to live is when you know who you are going to die as. No one wants to die during commit a robbery. No one wants to die as Mat-Rempit (a social phenomenon for people who illegally in street racing) and no one wants to die as drug addict. Consciously and spiritually, no one wants to die in a bad reputation generally. Everyone wants to die in noble.

Knowing who-you-will-die-as means you know what you are becoming. It means you know where you are heading your life to. It means you know what you want in your life.

Perhaps, the best way to find out is asking these questions:

  • Who I would want to die as?
  • What legacy I would want to leave to people?
  • What can I contribute to people before I leave?
  • What people should remember about me?

These questions may look simple but the answers could change the way you imagine your life. It might helps you figure out the life you want to live.

Life is short. Either life is easy or hard, it still short. Make something, give something, share something and be something for yourself and people around you so people could acknowledge your existence and remember you when you passed away. Create the momentum of life so it will bounces even when you no longer around. Do something that makes you proud living your years in this world even when you are looking down at it from the heaven.

Remember this, only our body dies but not our history, not our legacy and certainly not our contributions. So who would you die as? To die as person who create greatness around you or as person who will not be remembered at all.

The choice is always yours.