What’s Behind Emotional Eating?

There is Light and Darkness in everything.

Yesterday morning I told a friend that I feel the need to eat, not because I’m hungry but because I feel there is an emotional need to eat. In the simple terms, we call it Emotional Eating.

I experienced this need from time to time and yesterday’s experience was difference. I noticed that the body doesn’t really want to eat; but the emotions crave for all sort of food that I can think of. At one point, I realise that the body was feeling hungry, but it just wants to settle for a simple food. The mind, which react as a spoke-person to the emotions, thinks I need something super delicious to feed my stomach. As an Undefined Emotion person, this is how my Not-Self avoiding confrontation too.

So, I stepped back and see where this feeling is coming from. There were subtle hatred, dislikes and dissatisfaction that associates with others, that I can’t get what I want on my terms (timing mostly), that I have everything I need at that moment, but it wasn’t enough. And these related to the dissatisfaction and it is some form of inner resistance towards Life.

Between feeling all this and that, there was a void behind all these. The void leads me to understand something; I woke up to a feeling that I don’t know what to do today even though I have lists of things that I need to do. The feeling that there is no flow to keep the energy moving that is torturing to the mind and therefore, set the emotions to feel discomfort.

This is what we do. Instead of sitting with this void and find out what it is, most of the time we have urges to fill the void with something (food, sex etc).

It is ridiculous as it seems, but this is what we all do from time to time and to an extend that we become numb to our emotions.

Instead of believing that I need to go out there and find myself with super delicious food, I let my Awareness figure out where this lead me to. I simply come to these conclusions:

Acknowledge What You Are Feeling.

The dissatisfaction that I feel is real. It probably a dormant feeling that hidden deep inside of me. Since it came up to the surface, maybe it’s time to sit with these feelings and see if it wants to heal.

What the Void Really Is?

The feeling of void and ‘no-flow’ is a classic sign of an Individual Energy Stream (Human Design related). In individual energy, the energy flow moves in pulses. There are days we feel like nothing can be done and there are days, it is moving like a lighting. It is the period of ‘no-flow’ that makes Life seems stagnant and in a void.

The truth is, there is creativity and awareness are fertilising through the process. We don’t see the seed become alive until it grows out of the soil as a sprout, do we? That doesn’t mean the seed is dead. It is the same thing with an Individual energy.

I have one stream of individual and experiencing a Channel of Mutation (60-3) in my Solar Return. I’m pretty much have to learn to work according to the flow. From my experiences, I produced creativity after a period of stagnation.

Emotional Eating-Gate 55.png

The Rise of Human Spirit Consciousness.

We are in the era where the frequency of the Universe is setting us to increase our Spirit Consciousness and Emotional Awareness. The downside of this frequency is emotional eating, which reside in Gate 55 – The Gate of Spirit (Human Design). And Gate 55 is an individual energy that has fear of Emptiness. That’s the void that I feel. Emptiness over something.

If you look at the pattern around the world, this is where many people get obese or experience eating disorder too. How many people are dealing with fear of emptiness?

Now, we can’t escape the frequency because this is not some WIFI thing. This is how Universe govern itself. Being part of the Universe, we can only learn this through evolution and education.

But before we get there, we are just like bunch of babies that turn into our mothers for food and comfort.

So be wise when it comes to emotional eating. You know when you experience it. It’s okay to lose yourself and be emotionally moody about food and everything… but try to experience it with Awareness.

Human Design materials (keynotes and images) are © Copyright 2018 ihdschool and Jovian Archive. All Rights Reserved.

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Why Right Timing is Important.

Rose00.jpgAfter days of Emotional moodiness and anger, I walked out from the Gate 12 (Gate of Caution) transit with clarity. (What it means is; I walked out from my moodiness and emotional swing with clarity and glitters sprinkled on me).

One of the thing that I associate with this emotional swing is the constant mental torture that tells me to go back to Penang Island for Raya. I’m glad I trust my body (not the mind) and wait for the right timing to visit my hometown… because I finally see things rearranged itself.

I’m supposed to go back on 30th for my relative’s wedding but turned out, I made a promise to do public talk on that day in Kuala Lumpur. And I can’t change the date. So, I thought let’s go back this week but unfortunately, I got sore throat, flu and fever. My mind was so mad for not being able to go back.

In Human Design, my strategy is to wait for an Invitation. I had invitations to go back actually. So, this is no longer an issue. What is the challenge then?

TIMING.

Why is timing important?

Right timing will ensure that we flow in harmony with Life. Which means, there is less resistance when we do it at the right timing. Sounds crazy yes? Well, if you live in my body, you will understand that the only way you can get what you want in life without so many obstacles and pains and frustrations and angers and bitterness or even disappointments… is timing.

Basically, timing is all about living effortlessly. Universe gets things done through YOU and through your body (through the mind and innate intelligence).

I’m no master of timing. I’m learning to surrender and with Human Design, I get to apply it better. This is some level of spirituality and yet, I’m not a spiritual master or what so ever.

How Do I Know When Is the Right Timing?

I know it through my Authority. I am a Splenic Authority. My inner truth or inner guide is my body awareness. In Human Design, we called it Splenic Authority. Everyone has one unique Authority and yours is different than mine. You can check it out through this website.

My Splenic Authority works spontaneously in the Now and it all concern about my safety, health and survival. Remember that I want to go back to Penang Island and I have the invitation and I have someone who wanted to pay for the hotel and yet I decided not to go back. That’s because, as much as my mind wants to go back, my body awareness felt that it is not safe for me to travel because the body needs a lot of rest after being sick for few days.

Despite emotional waves overrides my Splenic intuition, I still feel a deep sense that I need to wait. This is not just about the health of my body but it’s about timing too.

What Now?

I’m seeing a clear green light to be in Penang on 30th June onwards unless something comes up and turn the journey the other way around. As a Splenic Authority, moment to moment is always about health and surviving. And with my Undefined Heart and Undefined Throat, I have no way to tell when things going to happen for me.

Surrender to Life.

Living effortlessly means enjoy the ride in this Life without trying to take control over it. Our body knows how to do this. Our mind doesn’t. The more the mind tries to control the body, the more the pain occurs in the body. Maybe body intelligence or innate intelligence is something people don’t believe in. But if we speak to our body and know our body well, we will see the truth within this beautiful vehicle we called the body. Human Design is a system that shows you what your body capable of doing and how to align your mind with your body.

So, let’s see how things unfold. From my experiences, especially when I’m practising to surrender and follow my Human Design, my life is exciting, colourful and sometimes… feels so surreal 🙂

Rose01.jpgAnyway, this is one good quote I picked up from the book I read; Women, Food and God by Geneen Roth. It reminds me that only through waiting, we are able to see the whole picture of the event which consists of This, That and the Absolute Truth. Enjoy!

Enlightenment was following one thing all the way to the end.
~~ Shunryu Suzuki Roshi

Flying Taught Me One Thing.

My first flight experience was ten years ago from Kuala Lumpur to Kuching; alone! I was a frequent traveller who took a bus from Penang to Kuala Lumpur or to the south. Not to mention that sometimes I experienced anxiety during travelling. So, imagine what it might do to me when I found out that I have to take a flight alone to Kuching. Out of excitement and invitation, I gained some courage and I decided to give it a try.

I sat by the window and the passenger who sat next to me was a guy. A friend mentally prepared me before the flight. She asked me to chew something, so I don’t get discomfort by the pressure. When she got to the part where “there is a bag if you need to vomit”, boy that triggered the anxiety. Anyway, I did whatever she told me. I thought I will be anxious or worse screaming when the flight takes off or when I had to vomit. Guess what happen?

I clapped my hands with full of excitement and said “Yayyyy!” just like a five years old kid. The guy next to me was surprised by my sudden excitement. I told him “My first time”.

The moment I reached Kuching’s airport, I called my friend.
“I’m not going to travel by bus anymore!” One word at the time.

I love flying, even I do feel a little anxious about it. The feeling is probably collective. Anyway, whenever I fly, I get to see a different perspective on Life.

Human nowadays have the capacity to view life, not just horizontal and from vertical view. Thanks to the Wright brothers for the invention of the aeroplane and people who built the rocket to space. The further and higher we get, the more information field we explore in terms of self-reflecting consciousness.

Try this. When you are in the sky flying, look down at the Earth. This is how nature, the clouds, the birds, the rains, the thunders, the Universe is looking at us. See the Life and feels it. You gonna enjoy the perspectives.

Sometimes It’s Good to Make Mistakes.

I have Projectors asking me about bitterness and success. The common question is how do they know if they will get the invitation? What happens if they initiate or manipulate the invitation? For example; what happens if they give advice to people before they are invited to do so?

To that I say, go ahead and experiment with that initiation. Give advice anyway but do it with awareness so you can feel the taste of the energy in your body. The body don’t lie. If the initiation is not recognised or invited in any level, your body will tell you that the energy is not appreciated, and it is wasted. The body feels the bitterness and you will feel the bitterness too. With awareness, you may acknowledge the bitterness, and hopefully, you will have vivid experience about what is right and what is not. From there, you get to learn why the invitation is important for you as a Projector.

If you taste the bitterness, surely you gonna love the taste of Success (the signature theme for Projector). Surely, you are not going to compromise your potential to be recognised and to be successful. All this takes practice to trust your Authority and Strategy.

Remember that Human Design is about experimenting our Self, our design. Only you can experience YOU. Only you have the Awareness to know YOU. So, go ahead, make mistakes but do it with awareness. It’s all about the awareness of being YOU.

LOVE;
Not the 3rd Line. Just a Hermit who loves her company.

How We Drained Our Energy Over Small Talk?

Why I Am Not Interested in Small Talk?

I had a great conversation with a friend who had an opposite view about small talk. Both of us have Undefined Throat. If you don’t know what Undefined Throat is; it means we have an inconsistent energy to communicate or to act. Sounds bad, isn’t it? Well, it is not bad. Undefined Throat people have the flexibility in communication and action. For example; Celine Dion is an Undefined Throat person and she is a great performer.

One thing you need to know about Throat centre is, all our energies are going to channel out through the throat. For Undefined Throat like me, I would feel drained if I overuse my throat energy. Therefore, to conserve the energy, I speak when I need to and most of the conversation is educational. Now, is that boring? Maybe to some people. I used to have a friend who called me boring because I no longer entertain small talks.

Here Is the Reason Why.

I’m a person who is picky about small talk because I feel that small talk drains my energy, especially I am an Undefined Throat person. I noticed the same patterns in human collective. What I see in many people is, they wasted too much of their energies on unnecessary small talks especially with people they don’t love.

Every single time we talk, energy is used for that matter. By the time they need to get their act done, they have no energy to do so because all of it is wasted on small talk. If we to combine all the small talks in the world, it will be too many noises with only small gap for the Stillness.

Do I Completely Avoid Small Talk?

I love small talks, with people I love and when we have coffee together. I do small talks with my Chiropractor too. And I love to laugh. Any small talks that can make me laugh, I’m on it. I think it is lovely when we do it with people we love. I guess this is what Tribal all about.

There is more to learn about our Throat centre; the source of sounds and door to all manifestation in this world. Everyone is different, and yet it takes same awareness to notice the right timing in communication and manifestation.

These are my small talks for today; chocolate chips cookies dreams, uncut chicken dreams, a selfie in the kitchen and a cat on someone’s head. It is hilarious! And all that gives me some boost to write about this topic.

Now I think it would be great to sit on that couch with a cup of coffee and a box of chocolate chips cookies as a reward for the post. Anyone… wanna join me?

Photo taken at Bangsar Shopping Center.

 

If you like my post and the photo-stories, you can Buy Me a Coffee by clicking the button above. It will be spent on educations fees and books.  Thank you for supporting me on this journey.

Finding Your Root.

What are your roots?

One thing I love about Human Design is it tells you what is the best environment that you can fulfil your purposes. Within these environments, if you live correctly as yourself, you are going to stand out in that environment. You are going to stand strong because you know your root. If you don’t know your root, you become the environment, and nobody can see you because you are living the frequency of the environment.

For example; one of my environments is filled with emotional stuff. That means I can only live my purposes in the presence of emotions; that include emotional pain, dramas, passions, sensuality, sexual, confrontation, traumas and so on.

Imagine what happens if I didn’t live at my own frequency? I surely become the drama and the emotional pain itself and no one could see me or feel my presence. I have no way to be the guide for them.

Ever since I follow my strategy and authority, I stand out more in this environment. I get to be the guide for those who need to feel emotional peace.

My task for this year is to learn about the confrontation that comes from this environment. All I can say that this is just a beginning. I already feel the pressure in many ways :).

Find your roots, know your environment and let your True-Self flowering in this life.

Original post: instagram.com/yourpersonalmotivator

The Incompetent – Gate 18.4

I’m adding this in my blog as a reference for a video “Life Is A Joke – Funny Realisation”, that I posted on my Facebook Page and a forum.

18.4 The Incompetent 

When we get to the fourth line, we get to the beginning of the upper trigram. This line is called “The Incompetent”. The nature of fourth lines is to externalize, which means that these lines are very fixed on a specific aspect. In some way, this is very reminiscent of the way in which the second line works.

Difficulties as a result of inadequacies that cannot be resolved because of inadequacies.

What this generally means for these people is that they will have a specific thing they want to correct. There are all kinds of other things they are able to correct in their life, but the one thing that they really want to correct, they can’t because they are inadequate to do that. By the way, the moment that they meet somebody that has the 48 and they get into contact with The Well, this can relieve inadequacy. The fear of inadequacy is in the 48th gate, which is the next step in this stream.

Remember that we are looking at gates that are potentials in a four gate stream. Here we have the potential of this awareness. The thing to recognize is that the awareness alone, this one thing that they cannot correct because of inadequacy, can come into contact with the necessary depth. That is always possible. All lines can ultimately be the exact mirrors of what they say.

Earth exalted: Given this negative position, survival through suffering. The inability to correct and its potential for suffering. These are people that say, “I just cannot make it better,” and they really suffer. “I can’t fix it. I can’t correct it. I can’t come up with a solution to this problem. I can’t do anything about it.”


Mercury in detriment. Indecision and anxiety and no escape from misfortune.
The demands of correction and its potential to generate anxiety. This constant anxiety comes from having this one thing that you can’t correct. (yep! that describes me)

When you see this line, be very careful about that. Don’t see that as meaning that they are incompetent with everything. That is not true. So often, when people see this line, they think that it is saying that they are incompetent to correct their general process. This is not true. Everything about the fourth line is about being fixed. You have to ask these people, “What is this one thing that you want to fix, that you can’t?” and see that isolated from the rest which you can work with.

The inability to correct and its potential for suffering; or The demands of correction and its potential to generate anxiety. One can become very anxious if there is this one thing that one cannot fix. This is the difficulty of the fourth line.

The fourth line can recognize incompetence everywhere because they know what it is like for them. This is true for every line that you read and think, “Oh, my god, these poor people.” The lines have their positive and negative and every line is a duality. These are processes that we go through. And whatever line you have, it is yours. Enjoy it. – Ra Uru Hu.

Source: Line Companion Book.

 

I post the video link as soon as it up to the public.

 

The Beauty of Correct Struggle

There is an aspect of struggle in our individual process. Everyone without exception; has our moments of struggle. This struggle is meant to be transmuted into empowerment; provided we choose the right struggles.

For Projector, an invitation into a right struggle can change his/her entire life. Same goes for Generator, MG, Manifestor and Reflector. When you respond to the right struggle (e.g Generator), this energy will drive you towards your purposes. Other than that, it just going to be an endless struggle of frustration, bitterness, anger and disappointment.

The Channel of Struggle (A Design of Stubbornness) resides in two gates. Gate 38; the gate of a fighter where it has the drives to be the warrior of ‘its way’. When meeting up the gate 28; the risk taker, we are going to have the potential awareness of our purposes and fights. Without one of it, the struggle is incomplete for transmutation and empowerment. And yet, all of us has our chance to transform the struggle.

Struggles - Which One Do You Choose

The Duality of Struggle. Photo by Rose Osman. Location IKANO

 

This week can be tough because Gate 38 is having its pressure. The Tension we feel in the air is the pressure fighting for purposes. This is also an opportunity to start reflecting whether this struggle that we are facing is the right ones for us. If any of this struggles bring out the not-self theme (anger, bitterness, frustration, disappointment), then be conscious that this struggle is not serving our purposes.

Be kind to yourself, to your body this week and be kind to others. Everyone is fighting their own struggles and mostly through the conditioning of Not-Self. Embrace your struggles, let go the one that doesn’t serve you good and get ready to be showered with transformation in the next few days.

Original Post: Instagram/yourpersonalmotivator

The Passenger, The Driver and The Vehicle – Who Is Incharge?

It’s a powerful illustration here. We are the passenger of consciousness. What it means here is we have no choice on how Life flow and play through us. All we can do is becoming conscious of each flow. Remember that the good and bad is how our mind labels it. The is a reason for the label and judgement but do not settle for just this or that.

Carry the car

Carrying The Vehicle? Credit to the artist.

A passenger needs a driver. Our driver is the magnetic monopole that resides in our G Center (sternum area – Gate 2-the direction of Self). Magnetic monopole drives us along our specific geometry; not others. Each geometry will cross path with the others. If we live correctly through strategy and authority, we have the awareness to discern who are the right people that cross path our geometry. The rest is just background and stages.

The car you see is our unconscious body; our vehicle. To live in the 3D dimension is to agree to the law of matter, which the body comes as a package. In 3D dimension, time and direction are part of the law. The body gives us the capacity to move in space within this dimension. So every single decision we made, we are moving from one point to another. Even at the cellular level, every decision we made, the cells, the electricity, the electromagnetic, the fluid in our body moves. Imagine when we choose to be with people we shouldn’t be or choose to be in a wrong environment..the whole effects of the direction itself could result in disaster.

The body (the vehicle) is always ready and are doing its job based on what is given through genetic imprint during our birth. Magnetic monopole knows because there is a force pull it along the geometry. So what causes us all the chaos in life?

The personality, the unconscious mind that creates the Not-Self in us. The mind thinks it can control the life and when it lost the control, it blames, it project faults on others and so on. Human Design original context is written to make us aware of our Not Self and the mind doesn’t like that. The mind doesn’t want us to know that it cannot govern our life and body. The mind is designed to inspire and to be concepts for others. Never to use on ourselves.

Open Centers Keynotes.

Credit fo Jovian Archive Media Inc. Original photo here https://www.jovianarchive.com/Human_Design/The_Chart_and_BodyGraph/Centers

Let go the need to control the body and surrender as a passenger. Instead of trying to be the driver that doesn’t know how or where to drive, be a conscious passenger who learns to enjoy every ride. The magic of surrendering only can be seen when the passenger is relaxed and let go the need to control.

If you desire to change the world, begin with yourself. An awaken manifestor could change the collective from anger to peace. An awaken generator and MG could change the consciousness field into satisfaction. Imagine, would people begin war if they feel satisfied with Life? An awaken projector and reflector could change the entire collective energy especially in guiding the energy. Follow your strategy and authority and see how it can transform your life, spirituality and mind. Let go the need to make decisions with the mind and it will release the burden that our brain feel.

And remember that the mind can do so much (no doubt) but everything is manifesting through our body until we leave this dimension of matter.

So yeah, we stuck in this no-choice body, no-choice genetic rules, no-choice because all are governed by laws of the universe. What do we do?

We surrender.

 

 

Human Design Projector Journey – Quad Right

Human Design never fail to amazed me by its wonder and beauty. If you already familiar with Human Design, you probably know more than Type, Strategy and Authority. One aspect of Human Design that you can explore is Variable.

One of many things I learned about my design is that I’m a Quad Right. Having a complete future design on personality and unconscious body, Quad Right are people who have deep creativity in them and they store information in their body without they realise it.

This is a minute video on Quad Right Variable; known as the most receptive variables in human cognitive personality and unconscious body. What make sense is variable explained why I cannot remember many things (including books I read) until someone ask me about it.

This is my journey as a Quad Right Splenic Projector. More videos in my youtube channel.