Turning Hopelessness Into Hope
by Cha~zay, Ph.d., C.H.
“I just heard the most awful sound of something crashing into the scaffolding right outside of my window. Whatever it was crashed right into the concrete below,” she said with a trembling voice. “What was it?” I asked in anticipation. “I walked outside to look and there laid the smashed body of a woman with her head splattered all over the concrete.”
Many don’t want to talk about suicide for various fears and misconceptions that talking about this darkest of dark deeds remains misunderstood and avoided at all costs. Many also falsely believe that talking about it will actually instigate and encourage it.
Nothing could be farther from the truth. By taking the ostrich approach and sticking your head in the sand pretending that hopelessness doesn’t exist you are not only avoiding the issue but you are actually aiding in making the problem worse.
As a trained grief and suicide hotline counselor let me assure you that being able to provide a safe space for others to talk about their darkest fears and heaviest pressures is the very thing that will actually prevent them from giving in to their hopelessness. Yes, you can be that important to those around you, whether a stranger or a friend.
However, I am not writing this article to write about suicide but to give you a flicker of hope and encourage you to be that same flicker of inspiration and hope to those around you. It’s easier and simpler than you think.
What You Can Do
One of the best ways to help the hopeless is to stop pretending that you are not affected. Take your head out of the clouds and come back to Earth and reality and realize that we are all responsible for each other.
Here are some additional ways you can turn into a flame of hope for those around you:
Acknowledgement and Ignorance: Everyone goes through life and at one point or another becomes hopeless to varying degrees. Especially now that the energies of the world are incredibly intense, thoughts of giving up and utter hopelessness are rampant. Ignoring this for yourself and those who try to reach out to you will not make the pressure go away. Talk about it and make yourself available to others who need to talk about it. When you know someone is in this space, acknowledge the dark space they’re in and do your best to hold a safe space for them.
Judgment and Forgiveness: If you find yourself judging even this article or the woman who jumped off the 18th floor from this San Francisco apartment complex last night, then know that the energy of your judgment is exactly a part of this problem we are facing together. Judgment is what gets people to a place of hopelessness, whether it is self judgment or judgment from others. People long to know that they are enough just the way they are, that they are not judged for living, loving, choosing the things they choose and for screwing up royally from time to time. We can’t even control the hair on our very head, at least I can’t, so how then do we expect to control another human being? What futility and waste of energy. So give it up already. Instead exercise forgiveness, compassion and empathy for yourself and those around you.
Love and Kindness: People are very confused these days about what love is and isn’t. Let me make this simple. Kindness is love in action. You can be a walking love machine, literally, by exercising constant kindness to not only yourself but also those around you. This includes animals, bugs and insects, plants and our planet. Kindness can be as simple as a sincere smile, as opposed to a forced, fake one. And as simple as a gentle look that says: “I see you. You matter. I care.”
Plant Seeds of Blessings: Look into someone’s eyes for 3-5 seconds as you pass them by while saying “I bless you.” It works miracles, literally! Don’t shove the responsibility of blessing another human being onto God by saying “God bless you.” YOU do it! You take the responsibility of blessing those around you. Why? Because you are a manifestation and our light source flows through you as much as it flows through everyone else. So don’t hand the responsibility over to anyone else, there is no one else besides you anyway. Know with certainty that you have all the tools to bless another ones’ life.
As a final note, please know that 92% of all people who commit suicide do have some type of chemical imbalance and/or are taking some type of medication. If you feel suicidal please call 1-800-SUICIDE or work with your therapist to get the help you need. Make sure that you take care of your brain by giving it the Omega 3s and other nutrition that it needs to operate at its best.
Biography: Dr. Cha~zay is a metaphysician, international life coach and certified hypnotist. She is a Reverend, certified and trained grief and suicide hotline counselor, transcendental dowser and Reiki master. She is the founder of a love forum community, http://corefreedom.com/
Note: Thank you Dr. Cha~zay for the nicely written article and for the permission given to re-post the article in this blog.